I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
