how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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