Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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