Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
