We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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