at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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