I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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