Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The struggles of a small town man whore
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
