Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
