As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack