I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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