he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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