Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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