Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
