if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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