No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
