She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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