I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
