She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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