Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize