She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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