Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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