Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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