I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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