I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize