okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
