Having a random hookup so left but love u
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
