i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
did you just send me my own nude
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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