How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
