I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
