babies were throwing up all over the place
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
