I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
