I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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