I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
