I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
