She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
