Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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