ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
