Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
