I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He did a backflip because drugs
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