I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
