i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He passed out mid-signature
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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