So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
