Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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