its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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