i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
