I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
