I want to have your abortion
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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