GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize