My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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