Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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