Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
