why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
