God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize