Welp...herpes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
