come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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