oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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