Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
