My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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