Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
