I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
