How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize