You really coming over, don't trick.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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