Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We are two peas in an std pod
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
