And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
