Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
