I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
