she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
