dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
