Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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